I am not sure I could have ever found this spelled out more eloquently or clearly. Dan Pearce writes a blog about being a single dad to his son Noah–Single Dad Laughing, and his piece today, Read Dads Don’t Leave, hit the nail on the head in so many ways.
I am not going to spoil it for you, but you need to read this. It is a no holds barred rant on three types of dads who leave their kids. It is thought provoking as well as anger provoking and will likely cause a tear to be shed by some, I know it did me!
As far as I can tell, there are three kinds of dads who willingly “leave” their kids.
The first simply leaves. He packs up, he walks away, and he wants nothing to do with his child or his child’s mother. This man is not a man at all. He is a coward. He is a lazy and an ignorant little boy who cares nothing for those whom he has been enlisted to provide for and protect. His self-centeredness and narcissism rank him among the most selfish human beings on the planet. He is a quitter, a deserter, and a weakling.
But there is another kind of father who leaves as well. This dad leaves in disguise. He works to make it appear that he’s not leaving at all. He, like that first man, cloaks himself in rationalization and reasoning. He shows up just often enough to pull off his ruse, and he goes to bed each night feeling good about himself as the dad that he thinks himself to be. This second type is the divorced dad who by choice becomes nothing more than a weekend or a summer dad.
And strangely enough there is a third dad who leaves as well. He is the father who somehow leaves without ever leaving at all. He is the dad who leaves while he is married and present in his family’s life. He has no intentions of ever physically walking away, and why would he? Life is “good” for dads like this. They are content. They are fine.
But these three paragraphs do not do the Dan’s eloquence and passion justice. Take a read for yourself!